It's Me Kelest

Nobody Knows It But Me
Babyface

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say

How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me

I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
You'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart
A million words wouldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin'
I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you whereever,
Ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tuesday, November 14, 2006
9:41 PM

When Will..

When will the feeling ever go away...the feeling of standing all alone in this place without u..without ur heart...without ur voice..without ur love...when will it go away and give mi the pen back..i'm crumbling...down down down...down...i wanna hide away from the world that saw my lonely face..i wanna walk away from the darkness..look for the light...60 letters...i'm not writing 5lines everytime i pick up the pen..i wrote 50lines...i scribble my heart out...i searched my heart out..i empty my heart out...all into pieces of papers and threads and threads of ink..how could this be mi...my writing...my letters..i wrote lines after lines...silence answered my letters..pity sounded in my ears...emptiness filled my heart...how do i carry this pen..this pen that didn't cared about anything but writing...now that tears fill this ink..i'm writing in the air...my answer will come...my answer will come..i hanged on for long with no reaction but juz a thanks...is it what a reaction will be knowing that someone wrote so much for u...but u have no idea y did he do it...no friend does this..no friend holds such a pen for a friendship...do u hear mi...this pen has lied down to fade in in silence...my answer will come...

Written By Hazel

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
8:26 AM

Busy Busy...

Today is an important day..hahaa..okie..maybe not from others viewpoint...but to mi it's realli importaqnt enough...i'm going to be busy for the rest of the day in my workplace...but still dear's visit is on today...i dreamt that dear's visit is coming to onli once every 3 weeks..and i realli realli did dream of it..not any of my thoughts..and looks like i'm going to have to wait longer before i can hear about her..but i know i'm already prepared to write my letters everyday even if have to wait longer and longer..and it's still a little new to mi after 2months..but i can write a little more myself-ly now..if dear was not spending her time in the drc now...i'll probably be calling her everyday and smsing her as and when i wanted and when i thought about her..she'll be juz a phone call or juz an sms her away...and i could juz tell her how much i missed her today..at that very moment..but now i can onli write letters..i can onli tell her how i feel..gather all the things at the end of the day and pour them out into the paper like the ink in the pen..it's still like smsing and calling...like calling dear..but juz that the answer will come onli after some waiting..juz some...coz i got an answer already..or maybe i can call it a reply..juz some waiting..i juz hope that the days that i can sms dear and call dear will be back someday soon...for now..i'll juz wait...~i miss you dear..~~~

Written By Hazel

Backstreet Boys - Back To Your Heart

It's not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Baby if I only knew

The words to say, The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do, To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

I don't know how it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right
Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you're the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
And made you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me girl

The words to say, The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do, To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Give me one more chance
Give me one more chance
Give my love to you, give my love, my love
Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do,
Tell me

The words to say, The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do, To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

I turn back time, To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead, Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart

The words to say, The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do, To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Back to your heart...

Written By Hazel

Thursday, November 02, 2006
9:47 AM

One More Week..~

It's going to be one more week before dear's visit..~Seems a long while more..but its going to juz the blink of my eyes and it'll be over...and i'll be back on wednesday but a week later...there is a poster here where i sit in my office..a motivational...and it says "Don't count the days, Make the days count..~" It's juz well said...i don't know how to do it exactly...but i've did it unknowingly for quite a few days during the past 2months..it's the part where u juz slow down to see what you've done during the night and the day passes without u knowing...and i did juz that...but u start counting the days when u realise that u are looking at the clock and counting the dates before the weekend reaches u..or waiting for a certain dates to come closer...deep in the night i would scroll the phone book in my phone..looking at the names...thinking of someone to call...or juz thinking of calling someone..but u continue scrolling down...from A to B...to F...to R...to the end of the phonebook and lay down the phone onli to realise that u have no one to call to...waiting for someone to call...waiting for the phone to ring...the phone is juz in front of u..in a place where u can spot it ringing easily..and u get back to what u was doing...but u find urself stealing glances at the phone every min juz to check if it rang...the reflection of the light mades u look at it..thinking that it might realli be the phone lighting up...but it's not..it's juz the reflection of the lights...then suddenly it rings..but u juz know that it's not that something that u've been waiting for..ring after ring...it never comes in...juz silence that fill ur mind..fill ur heart..when emptiness covers u completely..going to sleep will never be as warm as knowing that the someone is there giving u the warmth..u cover urself with the thick blanket thinking that it's the aircon blowing u cold...but it never goes away..it stays..u try to cuddle to comfort..but u doubt it existed..juz a fairy tale...juz a fairy tale..eyes close and u thought u saw her...but she's somewhere else...i wish i could drift away in my sleep...drift to her...drift to her......~

Written By Hazel